Yesterday night went for cell group. ^^

Worship was okay. But when sermon started , i wanted to sleep. =.= Finally , sermon ended. Daddy stayed back for the worship. I couldnt take it anymore so went downstairs to sleep. OMG the sofa so nice. (:






You were only one there for me when he left. You lent me a shoulder to cry on. You cheered me up with your "lame" jokes. I promise i'll always be there for you when you need me. And this promise will stay forever. (:

Back from dance. One word to say: TIRED.

Oh God , the cramps are killing me. )': warm ups suck ttm. Worst thing was that my leg muscles were hurting so bad that i couldnt even do a perfect split. =.= FML. The instructor gave us "happy hour" again. Hais. Used to it alr. I realised i didnt dance with much feeling today. Hmmm. After dance , went to mac to buy fries then bus-ed home alone.

Today maybe not going to CGM. ):

Well , looking forward to seeing the girls in youth. Hope nat jiejie can cheer me up. ^^ Oh yea , impersonating ju-on for whitney meimei (:

And lastly , i wan to slim down! ^^

I love you , but i'm forcing myself not to love you too much.

Today..i dont know what to say.

Forgot to bring pe tee again =.= Mr Chan was so nice about it. He didnt scold me at all. LOL so nice (: School was well , okay. Kingston went to spray deodorant on all my things =.= Freak him. Now my bag , books and all my things has that so called "ocean dive" scent.



I didnt know you would suddenly do that. Sorry. I wasn't prepared for it. I don't know how many sorrys i owe you now. I know i've hurt you alot. I'm too ashamed to face you now. Sorry.

Failure again. Argh. Sorry if i've hurt you. The problem lies with me..not you. I still cant let go of the past. I'm afraid, lost, insecure. ): Sorry. I dont think i can still face you. Sorry. FML. I hate myself. SORRY. ごめんなさい. 미안합니다. ):

Hey back (:

Survived 4 tests in a day. Phew. Dont want to talk abt tests again ^^

Today was awesome yea. Yu De gave me lollipop! Haha and its strawberry flavour! (: Haha TYVM! ( if you can see this) Haha was hyper for like the whole day ^^ Went to lot 1 with katrina today for lunch. Bought bread and ate it at the roof toop garden. Was crapping and laughing like siaozhabors =.= The joke's between me and her..and she's a sicko. LOL! jkjk. After that went back to school for sci. Haqqan go put my lollipop so high up, hai wo cannot reach ): Haha see you guys on sunday! ^^

Haha just finished with home econ work (: Omg spent like 3 hours typing it out. =.= Church was okay today. Hmmm arrived at youth. Tired but cant show it cus promised to be hyper. Haha the discussion today was well , kinda disgusting. Laughed alot haha. Then went for breakfast with them. Pissed. Wanted to go back after nat bought her sweets but yeeyang called us to come back. Took a chair , but chair fell cus i dragged it. ): Chatted till service. haha today went down for duty (: OMG freaking fun de lo haha. I missed talking to jieyang (: Then during worship , he and i were crapping away. And he's gotten cuter cus he dropped his front teeth alr! :D After that teached the 大班. Well , something happened.

Ernest: *jumping to put aircon control back but failed*

Me: *helped him* But the aircon control almost dropped so i said "Oh,God" and then had this funny expression on my face.

Everybody: *Laughing*

Ernest: *thought they were laughing at him* Throws tantrum then went to hit Regine and WenYan.

Me: OMG you guys okay? Then went to comfort ernest but failed. =.=

Luckily , Jason came down then helped to pacify ernest in just like 3 mins? LOL im a failure again. ): Yea chatted with them after they finished their work. (: LOL they were really fun to talk to haha and favian's so cute ^^ Hmmm but he 说话不算数. Oh yea , there's a secret between me and them so.. ^^ went home. Another week coming again. Tests, tests and more tests. ARGH! Collapsing soon. I need my sleep. ZZZ. But the things that cheer me up are :
-Going to CGM cell group on friday (: YAY.
-Sunday going for church and CNY celebration at amelia's house. ^^ Double YAY (:
-Holidays are coming!
-I want YOUTH OUTING please? haha im sure nat wants it too.


Sometimes , i feel like cutting my wrists with a penknife.

Peace and stability is back! (: Finally sort out my thoughts ^^

From now on, I'll be working towards nat's formula : Michelleee = success! TEEHEE!

(((((((((:

Past few days , phone always die ): Haha hope he wont scold me.

-Sci test was freaking difficult. But i tried my best le so i can only hope for the best.
-Math test postponed to next tues.
-English test postponed to next mon.
-Had a great time crapping with MH ^^ Seriously , he's a great guy. ((:
-Left phone and wallet in daddy's car today. Hais. But luckily had another phone ^^
-Hmmm. Wanted to leave after school but i was stopped cus i forgot to bring the form. FML. Prayed (: then walked around looking for dance seniors. Saw one. Thank God (: I finally got out of school.
-Going for cell group later. I hope God can take away my tiredness. :X whenever i feel tired , this song pops into my mind. "Everlasting God" . God doesnt faint , he wont grow weary. He's the defender of the weak. He comforts those in need. <-- this phrase kept me going and not collapse for the past few weeks.
-I toss and turn in my bed every night , even if i fall asleep , the alarm would ring the next minute. FML.
-I dont know you're lying or telling the truth. Oh,crap. Just stop it.
-I want to crawl into my bed and cry , under my blanket. I know it sounds silly and childish. But it makes me feel a whole lot better for the time being.
-I dont know how to answer you. I need some time to think.
-Somehow , i dont feel secure.
-I need to buck up in my studies. I hope i can get the subjects i want. Esp. Biology and Chemistry. ^^
-I dont feel like myself anymore. I feel like i've changed to another person.
-Thank God for Hanna and Katrina , as they always cheer me up with their jokes and laughs (:
Thanks girls. Love you lots.
-Thank God for MH. He cheered me up too by chatting and crapping with me whenever im abt to emo. He's really a nice guy teehee!
-Thank Jesus for dying on the cross for our sins but i have let him down by being such a failure.

Michelle = failure.

The positive and negative of tmr :

Positive: Going for CGM church for cell group (:
No cca means no cramps ^^
Last day of the week.

Negative: Three tests tmr. Math, eng and sci. Hais.

Im so gonna die in sci test =.= Oh,crap. I seriously need a break from everything or i'll collapse.


What's happening? ARGH. I dont know what to do , say. God , please give me an answer to my prayer! )':

School --> GREAT ^^

Hmmm dont feel like talking so much today cos im freaking pissed at someone now. Hais. But im going shopping with Katrina tmr! YAY~ Haha gonna buy lots of clothes (: Argh..cramps again from dance )':



Stop making me confused. Just shut up. I hate you. I seriously hate you.

15022010:

OMG so fun :D Went for movie with youths yesterday but the movie we wanted to watch was FULL. :C Crap. Then we decided to go to enqi's house to watch horror movie! LOL we went to TS to buy(or isit rent?) "Creepy hide and seek" haha its a jap horror movie ^^ Nat,charlene and whitney didnt watch. :/ without nat, nobody scream with me ): haha was sitted one row on the sofa. Everybody kept changing places. I was sitting at the end at first but luckily enqi changed seats with me haha Tyvm (: Then he had to change with enqi , luckily again , amelia asked ambrose to change seats with me teehee. The movie was boring =.= not many scary parts and i didnt understand the storyline. LOL almost everybody was smsing, including me haha and we kept laughing LOL! Halfway thru the show, i wanted to go toilet but i scared sia LOL so ps i had to ask amelia to go with me and ask enqi to switch on the lights =.= And yea, i was the one who kept screaming. Movie ended and some ppl got killed yea -.- Watched Shanghai noon bloopers, laughed alot. ((: Then i did something more hilarious man. Renactment now. (:

*I came back, no place to sit.*

Amelia: *Moving and leaving a space between her and yeeyang.* Hey sit here.

Me: No thanks. *looking around, saw a seat in front of amelia * Ahh, i shall sit here. And the next thing i knew, i fell =.=

Everybody: ROFL LOLS! *Laughing really hard*

OMG so PS OMG. Haha but i was laughing at myself too hees. Then went to enlin's room. Yea was talking abt the ice skating video. (: We were rofl at someone saying "Ooh last one, Winnie! Winnie! Winnie! *laughs* and that person sounded, well, _ay. Haha no offence but =.= Then yea daddy came to fetch me at 10pm hais. Asked enlin to accompany me down and we watched the vid again while in the lift (: Haha had a really fun day. ^^ See you all on sunday (: Sayonara.

I wish i could go back in time , to the time when i was still a baby , with nothing to worry about. Cry to tell them im unhappy. Laugh to tell them im happy. No need to hold my tears back when im sad. No need to plaster a huge fake smile on my face when im actually crying inside. I hate you. I really hate you. Sometimes , i dont even feel like seeing you anymore.

I don't care what they say , i'm in love with you.
They try to pull me away , but they don't know the truth.
I've been thinking about you , and how we used to be then.
But i need to wake up from this fairytale of mine and face up to reality.
There's nothing left to say , i've given up pinning for you.
Whatever you do or say , is none of my concern anymore.
I've become what i dont want to be.
I've hurt my beloved parents by being affected by him.
I'm sorry.

And Sorry God , this chinese new year , i'm being forced to go to my grandma house first D: Mr Choo said that i should go to church to visit God first. God is our Father isnt he? But my parents , they insist to go to my grandma's house first. I've tried to talk them in going to church but instead , i got scolded. Hais. I guess i'll just try to wake up early at abt 6am to say happy new year to God , before i say it to anyone else (: But i'll still continue praying to God for Him to touch my parents and ask them to go to church on sunday ^^ Argh got this super huge bruise on my knee grr. Been there since last week cus of dance )': LOL till now still haven subside D: Hais. My whole body aching )':

Gtg now peeps (: going to CGM later for cell group ((:

Mood for the Day : Confused + happy + moody

Confused cos he smsed me today but i didn't know what he was thinking.

Happy cos there is no cca this friday and yes, i missed him.

Moody cos im not going to youth group this sunday D: but going for service ^^

I was finally letting go of him. But he hurt me again by giving me hope, then taking it away again. Hais. But i've promised that i'll nvr let these stupid things affect me.

Tmr going for IVP programme. On the plus side, i get to leave school early at 12+ and skip geography test (: but on the downside, i go home at 5+ while the other peeps go home at 1.30 =.= and i have to stay back after sch on fri to take the test. Hais. I want to be happy but i go to school everyday, all moody. I always keep myself occupied so that i wont keep thinking of someone so i wont be sad again. Hmmm life is unfair. God doesnt seem to be answering any of my prayers now..but i'll still continue to pray though. Well , shall end here. See the youths this sunday at service. ^^

Haha back from school! ^^ Phew. Hais. Tmr got geography test sia )': Need to go chiong the notes tonight and hope for the best. Haha school was awesome today but somehow, i dont feel that happy. :/ somehow,there's this empty feeling. But nvm. Sci practical, did the experiment with jinghan. Haha i so bad, keep asking him to wash the test tubes ^^ he actually agreed but after that i had to keep listening to him nag saying "你看，你在那里还可以这么好的人? Tsk tsk." =.= Lesson ended at 1 today (: bus-ed home. haha see you youths this sunday! (((:



I wish that he will hold me in his warm and sturdy arms whenever i'm crying and whisper softly into my ear that everything's gonna be all right.

Back (:

Woke up at 7+ omg super damn early ): cos mr choo said we must reach by 8.50 haha Yea played paino for the primary sch kiddies. Then went back to youth group for discussion. Ate with youths haha enqi was talking abt his gay instructor ^^ To EnQi: LOL my dance teacher also gay larh (: Crap crap crap till service? Argh my stomach cramp till cant stand up sia )': Stupid cramps grr. Then went home yea haha looking forward to new year ^^ i wan go bugis shop shop (: Kinda moody nowadays cos of stress and _______. God,help me please.


I tried to forget you but i really cant. My mind wants me to forget you, however, my heart doesnt. The only thing i can do now is to avoid you.

Haha shopped for new year clothings today! (: So far ive got skinnies,tights and skirts. 2 blouses a jacket and a belt! ^^ But still shopping for more teehee! Oh yea i've mastered blessed be your name on the guitar! WHOOTS~ THANKS TO GOD! ((: Oh God, please let me learn more songs on the guitar and let me improve on the piano so that i can serve you in worship (: in Jesus name,AMEN! See you youths tmr ^^

Hahah school was okay today ^^i knew i should have ate breakfast every morning cos everytime we stand for the national anthem and pledge, i feel weak and faint ): but wat can i do? I cant force myself to eat in the morning ): Hais, lessons all the way till 1.30. Haha was kinda hyper after playing basketball during PE then kept talking craps to Haqqan LOL. Hmmm dont know why after recess i felt so tired =.= Still feeling kinda pissed abt that girl but i guess i'll get over it in a while. (; haha instant maggi mee for lunch again. Omg i love instant maggi mee lo (: fast and nice haha its unhealthy i know, but who cares, i eat it teehee. Oh yea im learning how to play this particular song “脚步”on the guitar! (: haha having a little trouble now changing chords, but i'll still try my best so i must gambatte! And recently im addicted to this piano piece called 'My heart will go on' ^^ really really nice and romantic piece haha i hope the person i love in the future will play this song for me on the piano ((: hmmm *yawns* i shall go take a nap now teehee sayonara for now. God bless. see you youths on sunday.

Konichiwaa~

Sad that ice skating is over )= but fear not,there will be another one! (: haha sunday was awesome teehee. Youth was okay..service was okay also cos we jumped haha (: i took out my platform wedges just to jump okay. =.=) then lunched with youths and off we went to kallang! LOL the mrt ride was freaking boring+tiring esp for someone who wore heels =.= stupid me argh! Hahah reached kallang ice world then ice skated! ^^ Special Arigatoh to yeele,amelia and yeeyang for coaching me,catching me whenever im about to fall and enduring my super high pitched screams ((: haha me and enlin were screaming away LOL. Omg our screams even echoed throughout the hall sia =.= Thank God i only fell once haha (: Learnt how to "walk" on ice teehee ^^ ice skated till 6+ then off we went for dinner! Dinnered at KFC. Crapped with ambrose and yeeyang (: after that went to wait for bus 985 to go home. Chatted with yeele,enqi and amelia abt ermm --censored-- hees its nothing much anyway. ^^ then got on the bus. Was quite tired on the bus then slapped myself to keep myself awake. Crapped with enlin and charlene (: Enlin's ghost story ROCK man! ^^ it totally kept me awake haha. Reached cck interchange at 9+ then daddy fetched me home. LOL im looking forward to seeing you youths again on sunday again! ((: God Bless (:

Memories of you came flooding back to me when i gazed at your back that day.And all the things you said to me,made me feel safe and secure. Your back seemed so sturdy,so warm. Oh God,i pray for at least once,i can lean on him. Please.

My tolerance of HER is wearing out. If she still continues with her ways, im gonna explode.