My eyes hurt like shit now.

I really want time to rewind.
If this continues, i'm afraid i might go crazy.
Sleepless nights.
Been forcing myself to smile through the pain.
Shouted at grandma ytd, because she kept pestering me to eat.
I'm sorry, but i was really in a bad mood ytd.
There was just too much unhappiness and anger bottled up inside of me, waiting for the chance to explode.
I've been getting silly thoughts to hurt or kill myself.
I'm sorry, God.
But i really can't do it.
I won't disobey them, but i'll reason it out with them.
I hope God likes this idea of mine.